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The best jokes and joke writers!

Misunderstood

My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for my birthday.

I don't think they understood when I said "I wanna watch."

Premium Poop

I had to pay $150 for the bowel prep medication before my colonoscopy.

That shit was expensive.

Purring Cats

Q: What cat purrs more than any other?

A: Purrsians!

Cat and Coin

Q: How is a cat laying down like a coin?

A: Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other!

Bee Jokes

Q: What does a bee get at McDonalds?

A: A humburger!

 

Q: What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea?

A: A bee in a submarine!

 

Q: What's more dangerous than being with a fool?

A: Fooling with a bee!

 

Q: What did the spider say to the bee?

A: Your honey or your life!

 

Q: Who is a bee's favorite painter?

A: Pablo Beecasso!

 

Q: What did the bee to the other bee in summer?

A: Swarm here isn't it!

 

Q: What is a bee's favorite classical music composer?

A: Bee-thoven!

 

Q: Who writes books for little bees?

A: Bee-trix Potter!

 

Q: Where do bees go on holiday?

A: Stingapore!

 

Q: What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him?

A: He's bee-witched!