Q: How do crazy people get through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
I met Denzel Washington once.
I kept yelling, "Hey, Denzel," and he kept saying, "I'm not Denzel, you fucking racist!" Oh man, classic Denzel.
Checking My Balance
I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!
Q: What do Skeletons say before eating?
A: Bone Appetite.
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don't work!