Q: Do you know what happens if you don't pay your exorcist?
A: You get repossessed!
Artificial Heart Gift
Q: What do you give a man with an artificial heart?
A: Three weeks.
I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it.
Blonde Lipstick Usage
I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind!
Checking My Balance
I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!