One-Liner Jokes

I met Denzel Washington once.

I kept yelling, "Hey, Denzel," and he kept saying, "I'm not Denzel, you fucking racist!" Oh man, classic Denzel.

My best friend ran away with my wife.... 

I miss him.

Q:  How do crazy people get through the forest?

A:  They take the psycho path.

My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for my birthday.

I don't think they understood when I said "I wanna watch."

Q: What does a bee get at McDonalds?

A: A humburger!

Q: What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea?

A: A bee in a submarine!

Q: What's more dangerous than being with a fool?

A: Fooling with a bee!

Q: What did the spider say to the bee?

A: Your honey or your life!

Q: Who is a bee's favorite painter?

A: Pablo Beecasso!

Q: What did the bee to the other bee in summer?

A: Swarm here isn't it!

Q: What is a bee's favorite classical music composer?

A: Bee-thoven!

Q: Who writes books for little bees?

A: Bee-trix Potter!

Q: Where do bees go on holiday?

A: Stingapore!

Q: What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him?

A: He's bee-witched!