Couldn't believe all the shit on my desk this morning.
My co-workers really don't like me.
Common Sense Business Lines
- Common sense is not so common.
- Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough. - Descartes, 1637
- Communication with the dead is only a little more difficult than communication with (Insert Your Favorite Group - Engineering/Financial...)
- Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.
- Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
- Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.
- Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
- Confusion creates jobs.
- Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
- Conscious is being aware of something; conscience is wishing you weren't.
Wise Business One Liners
- Success is the active process of making your dreams real and inspiring others to dream. - James Anders Honeycutt
- Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
- Tact is the art of convincing people that they know more than they do.
- Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.
- Take this job and shove it.
- Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else.
- Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
- That which cannot be taken apart will fall apart.
- The 5 P's : Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance
As the Business Lines Go
- As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
- As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens.
- Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.
- Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups.
- At any level of traffic, any delay is intolerable.
- Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.
- Bad news drives good news out of the media.
- Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upward from the floor.
- Batman is the hero any of us could be, given determination, exercise, and deep psychological trauma. - Chris Jarocha-Ernst
- Be content with what you've got, but be sure you've got plenty.
Business One Liners - There is No
- There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrnog.
- There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrrong.
- There is no limit to how bad things can get.
- There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don't care who gets the credit.
- There is no problem a good miracle can't solve.
- There is no problem so large that it cannot be solved by the application of a correctly chosen thermonuclear device.
- There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
- There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
- There is no such thing as a "dirty capitalist", only a capitalist.
- There is no such thing as instant experience.
- There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
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