Yo Mama - Lipstick

Yo mama so fat, she puts on lipstick with a paint roller.

Texan Bar Talk

Two Texans are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: "You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister."
"Well," his buddy replied, "between you and me we got 'em all."

Perfectly Healthy

"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."
Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."
The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."