Little Suzie and Cake Baking
One day, little Suzie and her mom are walking down a beach when they see a couple having sex. Little Suzie asks her mother, "What are they doing?" And her mother replies, "They're baking a cake" so that she doesn't have to explain sex to little Suzie.
Later that day, after mom has tucked little Suzie into bed, little Suzie's dad comes home. Mom and dad decide to have sex on the couch.
The next morning, little Suzie goes up to mom and asks, "Mommy, were you and daddy baking a cake last night?"
Mom replies, "Yes we were, Suzie. How did you know?" Suzie replies, "Cause I saw some icing on the couch."
Little Johnny has a question, so he goes around the house to find his father. He opens his dad's bedroom door and finds his mom and dad humping away on the bed! "Dad!", says Johnny, "What are you doing?" Johhny's father stops humping for a second and says, "Well, Johnny, I'm playing poker...and your mother's the wild card". "Oh", says Johnny and he leaves the room.
Still in need of an answer to his question, Little Johnny set out to look for his big brother, Ernie. He opens his brother's bedroom door and finds Ernie and his sister Thelma humping away! "Ernie!" cried Johnny, "What are you doing?". Ernie stops humping for a second and says, "Well...I'm playing poker, Johnny... and Thelma is the wildcard. "Oh", says Johnny and he leaves the room.
Later, Johnny's dad approached Johnny's room to call him to dinner. He opens Johnny's bedroom door and finds Johnny wacking off like it was going out of style! "Johnny!" his father said, "I see you're playing poker, but where's your wildcard?"Johnny replies, "With a hand like this, who needs a wildcard?"
The Whole Truth
At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug!"
A 12-year-old boy walks up to his Polish neighbor and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife naked!" The guy answers, "The joke's on you, Johnny...I wasn't even home last night!"
Little Johnny Grounded
Little Johnny's friend calls to invite him over, but little Johnny says, "I can't, I'm grounded." His friend asks, "Why?" and he replies, "My mom called me a son of a bitch, and I said, 'Yup, you got that right.'"