Q: What do you call "fart" in German?
Someone who is fed up with people.
A classroom full of freshman medical students is anxiously awaiting their first human anatomy lesson..
When the door opens the professor rolls in a naked dead body of an old man lying face down. He places it in the center of lecture hall and in a stiff voice says, "Before learning human anatomy there are two important things you need to remember."
"First, you should be fearless." The professor then sticks his finger in the dead-body's butt hole and then puts it in his mouth. Seeing this the students are stunned and disgusted. The professor then said in a commanding voice, "Everyone line up and do exactly what I just did." With great hesitation and disgust, every student repeated what their professor did.
After the initial commotion settled down and everyone had their turn, the professor said, "The second thing you need to remember is the importance of having a keen sense of observation. Some of you noticed that I stuck my index finger in the butt hole and put my ring finger in my mouth."
A hillbilly from West Virginia returns to his doctor after having some tests and asks what the results were. The doctor explains that he has some bad news, in fact, the patient is HIV positive. "Hell, " says the man, "You can't trust anybody nowadays, not even your own kids!"
At Least One
You might be a redneck if you can't take a nap without at least one hand tucked inside your pants.