Brains

A man has a car wreck and they have to amputate his brain. So the nurse takes him to the brain transplant warehouse. On one side of the shelves are lined with brains marked $500.00 each. On the other side the shelves are lined with brains marked $200.00 each. The brainless man asks why the price difference. The nurse points to the $200.00 brains and explains that these are female brains, so they've been used.

Ethnic Pick Up

A man sits next to a very attractive woman on an airplane. He asks her what kind of men she is interested in. Her top three choices are American Indian men, Jewish men and Southern men. The woman asks the man what his name is. He smiles, "Well, my name's Geronimo Bernstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

Additional Business One Liners

• A stagnant science is at a standstill.
• A theory is better than its explanation.
• A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
• A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
• Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.
• Ability is like a check, it has no value unless it is cashed.
• Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date.)
• According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
• According to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
• Adding manpower to a late software product makes it later.