Funny Thoughts

Happy Birthdead

Q: What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday?
A: A dead puppy!

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Riddles , Dark Humor Jokes (Dead Baby Jokes)
Anonymous

Valentine Sex

As an easy way to save money, a young couple decided that every time they have sex the husband would put his pocket change into a piggy bank on the nightstand. On Valentine's night, he was unusually athletic and accidentally knocked the piggy bank off the table and it broke into pieces on the floor.
To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten and even twenty dollar bills. He asks his wife "What's up with all the paper money?", to his wife which replied, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you are."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Holiday Jokes (Valentine's Day Jokes)
Anonymous

Wishes Granted

An old woman is sitting in a rocking chair on her porch, petting her cat Foo Foo. A fairy appears and says, "I'm here to grant you three wishes." The old woman says, "I wish I was twenty years old and beautiful again." Poof! She is. "Now I wish I had a million dollars and this old house was a mansion." Poof! Done. "And now I wish that Foo Foo was the handsomest man ever and deeply in love with me." Poof! Suddenly she's in the arms of a gorgeous man. He kisses her and says, "Darling, aren't you sorry you had me fixed?"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Old Age Jokes , Word Play Jokes
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Anonymous