Too Much Wrestling

• You wonder why singers Sting, Wolf Blitzer, and Bryan Adams stole wrestlers' names.
• You only come out of your room if your theme music is playing.
• When your boss is pissing you off you kick him and give him a stunner.
• You always end a speech with, ''That's the bottom line 'cuz John said so!'' or ''If you smellllll what John is cooking!''
• Your new wardrobe consists of more multi-colored bicep tassles, tights, and capes.
• If there's one beer left you suggest it should be suspended from the ceiling and the winner has to climb a stepladder to get it.
• Whenever you see someone lying on the floor you get the urge to put him in the sharpshooter.

Donation To The Preacher

After church service, a little boy tells the pastor that he is going to give him a lot of money when he grows up. "Well, thank you," the pastor replies, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had!"

Ten Business One Liners

• The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
• The longer the title the less important the job.
• The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.
• The meek shall inherit the earth, but only after we're done with it.
• The meek shall inherit the earth, but not it's mineral rights.
• The moment for calm and rational discussion is past; now is the time for senseless bickering.
• The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.
• The more directives you issue to solve a problem, the worse it gets.
• The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher probability of its success.
• The more things change, the more they stay insane.