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The best jokes and joke writers!

Ebonics Second Language

A friend of mine has an 18 year old son named Leroy. He attends Oakland High School where they teach ebonics as a second language. Last week he was given an easy homework assignment; all he had to do was put each of the following words into a sentence.

  1. Rectum: I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady rectum both.
  2. Hotel: I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the hotel everybody!
  3. Odyssey: I told my bro, you odyssey the jugs on this hoe.
  4. Stain: My mother-in-law axed me if I was stain for dinner again.
  5. Seldom: My cousin gave me two tickets to the Knicks game so I seldom.
  6. Penis: I  went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said penis!
  7. Catacomb: Don King was at the fight the other night, man, somebody give that catacomb.
  8. Forclose: If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money forclose.
  9. Undermind: There is a fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment undermine.
  10. Tripoli: I was gonna buy my old lady a bra but I couldn't fine no tripoli.
  11. Disappointment: My parole officer told me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the big house.
  12. Income: I just got in bed wit dee hoe then income my wife
  13. Honor: At the rape trial, the judge axed my buddy, who be honor first?
  14. Fortify: I axed da hoe how much, and she says "Fortify".
  15. Israel: Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said "man, that looks fake!" He said "No! Israel!"
    Needless to say Leroy got an A.

Even Steven

Q: Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

A: He wanted to tie the score.

Razor

Q: Why did the razor cross the face?

A: To get to the other sideburn.

DNR

A husband and wife were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.

Knock Knock - Esther

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Esther.
Esther who?
Esther Bunny.