- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
- When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
- Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
- Why are wise man and a wise guy opposites?
- Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
- If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
- Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.
Q: What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can't tuna fish!
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor!
Hard of Hearing Genie
OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the box?" The man says "I'll show ya' if you get me a beer." So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano. The little man starts playing the piano! Next the bar tender asks "hey! thats pretty cool, where did ya' get that?" The man says "I'll tell ya' if you get me another beer." So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says "I got it from a genie and a lamp." The bar tender says "If ya' let me barrow that genie and that lamp I'll give ya' another beer." The man says "Oh, Okay!" The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp. The bar tender rubs the lamp and the genie pops out! The genie says "Master, I grant you one wish, what is it?" The bar tender says "I wish for a million bucks!!!" And all of a sudden a million ducks start flying into the room. "What the heck is this!!! I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks!!!" And the man says "Well did you think I wished for a 12 inched pianist?"