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The best jokes and joke writers!

What Not To Say At A Funeral

What Not To Say At A Funeral

  • I'm not convinced. I'm going to go give her a good shaking?
  • I'm sure we'll all be laughing about this in no time!
  • It's funny, we all thought you'd be the first to go, Grandpa.
  • You know, your husband never paid back that $50 he owed

Grandma

Girls find it creepy that I have sex in the same bed my grandma died in.

I mean, I'll move her once I've saved enough for a funeral.

Mistaken ID

My grandfather died due to shoddy hospital care. I wouldn't have minded, but he was only in there to visit my grandma.

Lost and Found

Buried my grandmother in the wrong plot.

That was a grave mistake.

Beaver's Tongue

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says, "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny."
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says, "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."