The Phone Conversation with Mother
A man answers the phone, and starts "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard." "Well, you know how she is." "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her! You were perfectly right." "You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room, "Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"
One year, a husband gets his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas. It came with a coffin, tomb stone, the works. The next Christmas comes around and the husband gets her nothing. When the mother-in-law asks, "Why didn't you get me a gift?" the husband replies, "You haven't used the one I got you last year!"
Don't Take Chances with Mother-in-laws
A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt. He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes."
In-Laws and Outlaws
Q: What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.
Inlaws vs. Outlaws
Q: What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted! (or You can shoot outlaws!)