Work & Office Jokes

Waiting on a Long Line

The checkout line at the hardware store was getting longer and longer as the clerk labored to get the new cash register to cooperate. At one point she wailed "Oh no, NOW what do I do? It just rang up sixty-four thousand, five hundred seventy four dollars in sales tax, on a ten-dollar sale!" Surprisingly, the customers in front of me didn't seem too upset by the delay. Some even chuckled sympathetically. It wasn't until I got near the front of the line that I saw the neatly hand-lettered sign in front of the register: WE ARE CURRENTLY DOING BATTLE WITH OUR NEW COMPUTER FOR CONTROL OF THE STORE --- WE APPRECIATE YOUR PATIENCE.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

A Dent in the Pile!

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.
The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."  To the Irishman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling."  To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."  
He then says "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched.
He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it!?  "The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him."
Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did lad, but I counna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I counna fin' him."
The foreman is really angry now, and storms off toward the pile of sand looking for the Chinese guy.  Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells... "Supplies!!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Wife vs Job

Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job will still suck.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous