Wanna Hear A Polish Joke?
Guy walks into a bar, sits downs and starts to make conversation with guy at next table. "Want to hear the worlds's worst Polish Joke?" Other guy says "Sure, but before you tell it, let me tell you something. See those two bikers over there by the door-real mean motherfuckers. They're Polish. And those two bouncers by the bar? They're Polish too! The Bartender?? Polish!! And one more thing pal, I'm Polish too!!! Now..... still want to tell that joke?" "Hell no!", replies First Guy, "I don't want to have to explain it 6 times!"
How many does it take?
Joe is having a drink in his local bar when in walks this gorgeous woman. Joe, not being too shy, goes up and sits next to her. He buys her a drink and then another and then another. After this and the accompanying small-talk, Joe asks her back to his place for a "good time." "Look," says the woman, "What do you think I am? I don't turn into a slut after 3 drinks, you know!" "OK," replies Joe, "So how many does it take?"
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it, and out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The Irishman thinks awhile, finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty." With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes. The Irishman says, "I want two more of these."
A wild-eyed and butt-ugly old woman walked into a crowded bar in downtown Washington, DC waving a pistol. She yelled out, "I have a Kimber 1911 with seven rounds in the mag and one in the chamber. I want to know who's been sleeping with my husband!"
A female voice from the back of the room yelled back at her, "You're gonna' need more ammo Hillary!"
Original Horse Joke
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"