Tried That Once

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it." So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?" But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it." The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son." The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."

Pirate Wheel

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on the front of his pants. The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel?" The pirate says, "Arrrr! It drives me nuts!"

Drinking Code

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead walked into a bar.
The brunette said to the bartender "I'll have a B and C."
"What's a B and C?" asked the bartender.
"Bourbon and Coke," replied the brunette.
"I'll have a G and T," said the red head.
"What's a G and T?" asked the bartender.
"Gin and tonic." replied the red head.
"I'll have a15," said the blonde.
"What's a 15?" asked the bartender.
The blonde rolled her eyes and said,"Duh, a 7 and 7."