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The best jokes and joke writers!

Puppy on a Plane

On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son.  Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppy on board, the man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and snunk him on board the airplane.  About 30 minutes into the trip a flight attendant noticed the man shaking and quivering. "Are you OK, sir?", asked the stew? "Yes, I'm fine." said the man. Sometime later the flight attendant noticed the man moaning and shaking again. "Are you sure you're alright sir?"  "Yes." said the man, "but I have a confession to make. I didn't have time to get the paperwork to bring a puppy on board, so I hid him down the front of my pants."  'Whats wrong?" asked the flight attendant, "Isn't he house broken?" "No, that's not the problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!"

Taco Bell Dogs

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a great looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me!"  So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

Stumbling and Mumbling

A drunk stumbles out of a bar one night and passes a woman walking her dog. The man stops her and asks, "Hey where'd ya get the pig?" The woman replies, "Listen you drunken bastard, that's a dog not a pig." The man then said, "Take it easy, I was talking to the dog"

K9 Mix

Q: What do you get if you cross a Collie with a rose?

A: A collie-flower!

Mouse Umbrella

Q: When should a mouse carry an umbrella?

A: When it's raining cats and dogs!