Q: When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
A: When it's raining cats and dogs!
Stumbling and Mumbling
A drunk stumbles out of a bar one night and passes a woman walking her dog. The man stops her and asks, "Hey where'd ya get the pig?" The woman replies, "Listen you drunken bastard, that's a dog not a pig." The man then said, "Take it easy, I was talking to the dog"
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!
Q: What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?
A: The wrong answer.
Yo Mama - Ran Away
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she ran away from home, her parents called the dog catcher.