Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don't work!
Q: What do you call a seagull flying over the bay?
A: A bagel.
Q: Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving?
A: Because he's already stuffed!
Q: What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?
A: None. It just lets out a little wine.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."