Hunting for Nuts

Joe takes his friend Steve hunting for the first time, and reminds him to be still and keep quiet. An hour into the woods, Joe hears Steve screaming behind him. "I thought I told you to be quiet!" says Joe. "Hey, I kept quiet when the snake bit me," says Steve, "and I was quiet when the fox attacked me, but when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg just now, I heard one ask the other, 'Should we eat them now or take them with us?'"

Special Days

Yesterday was international women's equality day and international dog day.
What a great day for bitches.

Stand your Ground

Q: What did one skunk say to the other skunk when the hunter came over the hill with a gun?
A: Let us spray.