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The best jokes and joke writers!

Shark Week - Gambling

Q: What kind of Shark is always gambling?

A: A Card Shark

Catfish vs. Lawyer

Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

A: Ones a gross dirty slimy scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and ones a fish...

Paddy and His Goldfish

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.   The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".

Paddy says, "Yeah, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet!"

Fishing License

Three blondes were sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden came up behind them, tapped one on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first blonde.

"Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses," he said.

"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were magnets tied on the end of each line.

"Well, I know of no law against it," said the warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, he left. As soon as he was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically.

"What a dumb cop," the third blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?!"

Elephant -Riddles

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?