A Wise Man
A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained. "These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others. "The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior. After hearing enough from his Senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said... "Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!"
Let Me Out
Q: You're in a room with no doors and no windows, and all you have is a baseball bat. How do you get out?
A: Strike 1! Strike 2! Strike 3! You're out!
The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent marriage annulled. "On what grounds ?" questioned the Judge, "This court does not take annulments lightly." "Non-virginity," replied the quarterback, "When I married her, I thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had married a wide receiver."
Saved By The Ship
Q: Limp Bizkit and Dennis Rodman are on a sinking ship. Who gets saved?
A: The music world and the NBA...
Greg Norman's Lovers
Q: Why do women like making love to Greg Norman, the Australian golfer?
A: Because he always finishes second!