Signs And Notices 15
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
- Sign in the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."
- Sign in a Tokyo shop: "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."
- Sign from a Japanese booklet about using a hotel air CONDITIONER: "COOLERS AND HEATERS: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."
- Two signs from a Morrocan shop entrance: "English well talking." "Here speeching American."
- Sign at a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
- Sign from a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: "A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played."
- Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: "Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn't worth anything - gas is!"
- Sign on the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
Wishing for Wine
While he was rooting around in the basement, a man found a magic lamp. When he rubbed it, a genie emerged in a huge cloud of pink smoke. "I am the all-powerful genie. I shall grant you one wish." The man thought about this, and decided that if there was one thing he couldn't get enough of, it was wine. "I wish I could pee wine. That's my wish." "Granted." And the genie disappeared. Later that day, the man's wife came home to find her husband naked, holding a glass. "Why only one glass?" asked her wife. "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
My wife often complains to me when she's drunk. Last night she complained when she was sober.
Non alcoholic whine.
Age of drinking
17 - Wine Coolers
25 - White wine
35 - Red wine
48 - Dom Perignon
66 - Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser