Profession Jokes - Pilot Jokes
Radar: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees. "Pilot: "Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?" Radar: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?"
Problems During Flight
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. "I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time."
Polish Plane Landing
Polish Air Lines flight 113 was descending for a landing at an airport they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the windshield and suddenly exclaimed to the copilot, "Holy cow! Look how short the runway is! I've never seen one that short!" The copilot looked out the windshield. "Wow! you`re right! That`s incredible! Are you sure we can make it?" "Well we better, we 're almost out of fuel." So the captain got on the intercom and notified the passengers to put their heads between their knees and prepare for an emergency landing. Then he set the flaps to full down and slowed the plane to just over stall speed. The big jumbo jet came screaming in, on the ragged edge of control. The pilot`s hands were sweating, the copilot was praying. They touched down and came screeching to a halt JUST before the edge of the runway, the tires smoking. "WHEW! That was CLOSE!" yelled the captain. "That runway was SHORT!" "Yeah!" said the copilot, "and WIDE too!"
25 Feet Long Mile Wide
Q: Why did the blonde crash her plane when landing?
A: Because the runway was only 25ft long, but a mile wide.
Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane?
A: A pilot, you racist.