Alcohol Jokes

We Got a Lot of Those

Three cowboys, a Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian, were sitting around a campfire smoking, drinking and having a good time. The Texan takes a full bottle of the finest tequila, throws it up in the air and shoots it to pieces. The Californian and Oregonian are clearly dismayed at that show, and ask "Now what'd you go and do THAT for?" The Texan just drawled "Where I come from, we got a lot of those."
Not to be outdone, the Californian reaches in his saddle bag and pulls out a full bottle of the best Californian wine there is. He throws the bottle in the air, whips out his gun, and shoots it to pieces. The Oregonian and the Texan both groan, but the Californian is quick to point out, "Where I come from, we've got a lot of those."
Next the Oregonian pulls out a bottle of the best microbrew beer that Portland makes. He throws the bottle high up in the air, takes out his gun, shoots the Californian, catches the bottle, and proceeds to drink the beer. Horrified, the Texan asks why he would go and do a thing like that. "Well, where I come from, we got a lot of those, but the bottle's worth a nickel."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (California Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (Oregon Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (Texas Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes , Profession Jokes (Cowboy Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Irish Women's Mates

Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. "I call my man 'Eight,' " said the first woman, "Because he's got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day." The second woman said in response, "I call my man 'Ten' because his dong is ten inches long, and we do it ten times every night. "The first woman then asked the third woman "What do you call your man?" She answered " 'Creme de Menthe.'" "Why? Isn't' that a liqueur?" the other two wanted to know. "Yep, it is," said the woman, continuing, "yeah, you betcha!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Alcohol Jokes , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Mormon and Irishman

An Irishman and Mormon were seated next to each other on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The Irishman asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the Mormon if he would also like a drink. The Mormon replied in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!" The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice..."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Whiskey Jokes) , Religion Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous