Alcohol Jokes

My husband has always taken the time to make love to me in a very romantic atmosphere. In fact, all our kids were conceived during Miller Lite commercials.

Waiting for my three friends at a Spanish restaurant. The waiter has just asked if I want a drink. "Wine" I told him "Pour for four"

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, John woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.

A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks "this guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch. The patron takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender "I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!" Still unimpressed the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch. The patron takes a sip... same reaction. But the bartender still doesn't believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch. Again, same reaction from the patron. Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours the patron a glass of 12-year-old scotch. The patron takes a sip and is most satisfied. All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching. He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron and  says: "Shay mishter, tashte this!" The patron obliges... he promptly spits it out. "That tastes like pee!," he shoots back at the drunk. The drunk replies: "It ish. Now how old am I?"

A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.