Dr. Seuss - Beer

I would drink beer,
with a goat on a boat,
in a box in my socks,
in a car
at a bar
I do, I do, I do like BEER!
Slammed I am!

Celebration

A young man walks up and sits at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires."I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots! Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blow job."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

AAA Call

me: Hi, my name is Tiffany and I'm an alcoholic
AAA: Ma'am, you're reached the American Automobile Association
me: I know, I'm explaining why my car is in the lake.