I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
A cop pulls over a car. He walks up to the car, the driver lowers his window and a cloud of weed smoke pours out. The cop looks at the driver and notices his eyes are as red as a stop sign. The cop then asks the driver, "How high are you?
The driver laughs and says, No officer, it's Hi, How are you...
Q: What drug was the duck on?
Bright Eyed, Bushy Tail
Q: What's bright eyed and bushy tailed?
A: A squirrel on crack.
As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies.
That's when I realized I'd drugged the wrong glass.