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The best jokes and joke writers!

The Doctor Said to the Housewife

The doctor said to the housewife, "I've got good news and I've got bad news.The good news is you don't have PMS. The bad news is...you're a bitch!"

Gynecologist Exam

A woman goes to the gynecologist for an exam. She puts her feet into the stirrups and the doctor begins his exam. After a moment, he says, "You have an unusually deep vagina." The woman replies, "You don't have to say it twice." The doctor says, "I didn't."

My Daughter's a Good Girl!

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen.

It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!"

The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.

The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.  

The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?"

"Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came.  I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!"

Gynecologist Work Condition

Q: If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squash knees, what do gynecologists get?

A: Tunnel vision!

The Perfect Diagnosis

The doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous redhead. "I would suggest to you, young lady, began the doctor,  that you discontinue some of your running around, stop drinking so much, cut down on your smoking, and above all you will have to start eating properly and getting to bed early." Then, as a pleasant afterthought, he added: "Why not have dinner with me tonight? I'll see to it that you have the proper food and that you'll be in bed by 9:00!"