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The best jokes and joke writers!

Funeral Story

A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed. Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?" "I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied. "What's so funny about that?" "I'm a gynecologist."

Geriatric Gynecologist

Q:  What do you call a geriatric gynecologist?

A:  A spreader of old wives' tales!

The Perfect Diagnosis

The doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous redhead. "I would suggest to you, young lady, began the doctor,  that you discontinue some of your running around, stop drinking so much, cut down on your smoking, and above all you will have to start eating properly and getting to bed early." Then, as a pleasant afterthought, he added: "Why not have dinner with me tonight? I'll see to it that you have the proper food and that you'll be in bed by 9:00!"

Gynecologists At Lunch

Two gynecologists meet at lunch. The first one says, "I had a patient this morning with a clit like a dill pickle. The second one says, "That big or that green?" The first one says, "That Sour."

Precision Tune-Up

So there's this very successful doctor who, after decades of work in the local hospital as chair of the OB/GYN department, decides that malpractice insurance is too high, and managed care payments are too low, so he retires. After three days of hanging around the house, the wife tells him to do something with his life, so he goes to the local trade school because he always wanted to work on sports car engines. He progresses quickly through the course and a month later he's elated when takes the final exam (which is to tear down and rebuild a Corvette engine), and he's given a 150 point score.

Puzzled, he asks the instructor for an explanation.

"Well," says the instructor, "you completely disassembled the old engine without losing or breaking any parts, so that earned you a '50' point score. Then you cleaned and reassembled everything correctly, so that's worth another '50' points."

So the doctor asks, "And what about the additional '50' points?"

The instructor said, "Well, I thought you deserved extra credit, because I've never seen anyone do it all through the exhaust pipe before."