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The best jokes and joke writers!

Funeral Story

A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed. Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?" "I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied. "What's so funny about that?" "I'm a gynecologist."

Geriatric Gynecologist

Q:  What do you call a geriatric gynecologist?

A:  A spreader of old wives' tales!

Having a Baby

There were three ladies at the obstetrician's office, waiting to see what their results were. When the first young woman came back to the waiting room, she was very happy.

"I'm going to have a boy!" she declared. "The doctor said that if my husband was on top, I would have a boy."

When the second young woman came back, she was very happy, too. "I'm going to have a girl! The doctor said that if I was on top, I would have a girl."

Suddenly, the third young woman burst into tears. The other two tried to console her, but all she could say was "I'm going to have a puppy!"

Good Girl

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen.

It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!"

The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.

The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.  

The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?"

"Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came.  I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!"

Gynecologist and Genealogist

Q: What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?

A: A genealogist looks up the family tree. A gynecologist looks up the family bush.