Profession Jokes

31??..32???

At a college with a shady reputation, the new dean responded to investigations into the basketball team by suspending any basketball player who wasn't maintaining a passing average. Furious, the coach came storming into the dean's office, followed by one of his star players. "You can't keep him from playing!" the coach roared. "We won't win this weekend without him!" "I don't care," the dean said. "Things have gotten out of hand at this college." "What do you mean, out of hand?" the coach demanded. "I'll show you what I mean," the dean said. He turned to the basketball player and said, "Tell me, how much is six times seven?" The player thought for several seconds. Then he said, "Thirty- one?" The dean turned to the coach and said, "I rest my case." "Oh, come on now," the coach said. "Why are you making such a big deal of it? After all, he only missed it by one."

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Anonymous

Worse Than Pleading Guilty

Q: What's worse than pleading guilty to murder?
A: Getting jail time and getting robbed by your attorney

Anonymous

Create a Need

A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked "Sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash for $200.00?" Aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's robbery!" The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again "Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you for 1/2 price at $100.00" Again, the man replies bluntly  "you must be crazy pal, now go away!" The salesman then reaches into his briefcase and pulls out 2 brownies and begins munching away on one of them. He tells the irate guy "Sir, please share one of my brownies since I have annoyed you so much". Unwrapping the brownie, the guy takes a bite; suddenly, the guys spits it out and says: "HEY," he snarled, "this brownie tastes like crap!!!" "It is," replied the salesman. "Wanna buy some mouthwash?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous