Q: Did you here about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?
A: He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
At the end of the day, a border collie reported back to the grazier, "All fifty sheep accounted for, boss!"
"Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.
"I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi.
Alec-tricity. Isn't that a shock!
Q: What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book?
A: I've already got a lot of problems, and I don't need any of your drama.