Do the Math
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
Hillbilly Math Education
A hillbilly family's only son saves up money to go to college. After about three years, he comes back home. They are sitting around the dinner table, when the dad says, ''Well son, you done gone to college, so you must be perty smart. Why don't you speak some math fer' us?'' ''Ok, Pa.'' The son then says, ''Pi R squared.'' After a moment, the dad says, ''Why son, they ain't teached ya nothin'! Pie are round, cornbread are square.''
US Metric System
Q: Why doesn't America use the metric system?
A: They have a foot fetish
Solve Indian puzzles
An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a tepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a tepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story tepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. "Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?" The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."
Alec-tricity. Isn't that a shock!