Do the Math
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
Q: Which teachers care the most about their students?
A: Math teachers, because every student counts.
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?" "I said '6'" "But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" His father asks, "What's the fucking difference?" Johnny says, "That's exactly what I said!"
Q: What did the police say after 4, 6, 8 and 9 were killed?
A: We believe 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are prime suspects.
Q: What do you call an opinion without 3.14?
A: An onion.