Philosophy Versus Math
Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
Q: What do you call an opinion without 3.14?
A: An onion.
All Numbers Equal
Theorem: All numbers are equal.
Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then a + b = t(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)a^2 - b^2 = ta - tba^2 - ta = b^2 - tba^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2a - t/2 = b - t/2a = b
So all numbers are the same, and math is pointless.
Girls Are Evil
Girls = time * money
time = money, therefore: Girls = money * money (*)
But we know that money is a root of all evil, thus: m>
Taking into account (*), we have: Girls = sqrt(evil)*sqrt(evil)
And finally: Girls = |evil| Thus, Girls are the absolute evil!
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything they want to measure it, and have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume. The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up.