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The best jokes and joke writers!

Hearing Test

A little boy is doing his homework. He says to himself, “Two plus five, the son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, the son of a bitch is nine.” His mother hears this and gasps, “What are you saying?” The little boy answers, “I’m doing my homework. This is how my teacher taught me to do it.” Infuriated, the mother confronts the teacher the next day. “What are you teaching my son in arithmetic? He’s been saying two plus two, the son of a bitch is four?” The teacher replies, “Oh dear. What I taught them was, two plus two ‘the sum of which’ is four!”

Do the Math

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.

She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

Dog Math

Q: What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?

A: The wrong answer.

Sex Like Math

Q: Why is sex like math?

A: You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying!

Missing Numbers

Q: What did the police say after 4, 6, 8 and 9 were killed?

A: We believe 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are prime suspects.