Profession Jokes

Spooky Love

There is an old colonial cemetery where the grave markers are flat.  A man and woman sneak in there one night after a Halloween party to make love.  The next day the woman is complaining of a terrible back ache, so she goes to see her doctor.  The doctor asks her to put on a gown and examines her back but finds nothing wrong.  He asks her how old she is, and she says 28.  The doctor says that's interesting because it says on your ass that you died in 1784.

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Blind Date Jokes) , Holiday Jokes (Halloween Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes)
Anonymous

FIling Taxes

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman, "Okay, I'm a prostitute." "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Accountant Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Beltway Crawl

A man on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving." He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me, Officer, what's the hold up?" The Officer replies, "President Biden was just implicated in another scandal with his son Hunter and he's all depressed. He stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him". "Oh really? How much have you collected so far?" "I've got a lot of folks still siphoning, but right now I have about three hundred gallons."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Police Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Suicide Jokes) , Political Jokes (About Democrats)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous