Profession Jokes - Police Jokes

Q: How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?

A: None - "He fell".

A man was caught by a cop with drugs in the bathroom

The man says, "I swear, it's not mine! I found it here and tried to flush it down the toilet, but every time I flush the drugs down it magically reappears in my hand!" "I don't believe you," says the cop. "Show me." The man tosses the bag of drugs into the toilet, then flushes it. The bag swishes down. The cop then stares at the man's empty hand as the bag is flushed down. "Well," says the cop, "where are the drugs now?" "What drugs?"

Q: Did you hear about the crooks who stole a truckload of Viagra?

A: Police issued an APB for hardened criminals.

A: The Judge will likely impose a stiff sentence.

An officer was fired for smoking weed and masturbating on the job.

No exact details were given to the public, but word has it that he was a high wanking officer.

The England team's training session was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours at Twickenham. One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance at the end of the field. Coach Clive Woodward immediately suspended practice while the Police were called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the Police determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the try line. Practice was resumed when the officials decided that it was unlikely that the team would encounter the substance again.