Lord's Prayer Edits

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "Give us this day our daily bread" to "Give us this day our daily chicken," and Kentucky Fried Chicken will donate $10,000,000 to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. Two weeks later, the man approached the Pope again - this time with a $50,000,000 offer. Again, the Pope declined. A month later, the man upped the price to $100,000,000, and this time the Pope accepted. At a meeting of the Cardinals, the Pope announced his decision in the good news/bad news format. "The good news is: We have $100,000,000 for charities. The bad news: We lost the Wonder Bread account."

Dogs and Women

Q: What do dogs and women have in common?
A: They both like 12-inch bones.

Roxanne Needs Help

Been drawing circles around pictures of Sting, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers for a woman across the street who has just had her home burglarized. 
No idea how asking me to ring The Police is going to help her.