Shih Tzu - Bulldog

Q: What do you get when you cross a bulldog and a shih tzu?
A: Bullshit!

Pig's Ears

A woman enters a butcher shop and asks the counter assistant, "Do you have pig's ears?" The counter assistant replies, "No, it's just the way my hair is parted!"

Wishes Granted

An old woman is sitting in a rocking chair on her porch, petting her cat Foo Foo. A fairy appears and says, "I'm here to grant you three wishes." The old woman says, "I wish I was twenty years old and beautiful again." Poof! She is. "Now I wish I had a million dollars and this old house was a mansion." Poof! Done. "And now I wish that Foo Foo was the handsomest man ever and deeply in love with me." Poof! Suddenly she's in the arms of a gorgeous man. He kisses her and says, "Darling, aren't you sorry you had me fixed?"