Skipping School

I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."

Southern Anniversary Presents

Two southern ladies are sitting at the country club by the pool. The first southern lady says, "When I had my first child, my husband bought me a diamond ring." The second lady says, "Well, isn't that nice." The first lady says, "When my second child was born, my husband took me on a cruise." The second lady says, ''Well isn't that nice." The first lady continues, "When my third child was born, my husband took me on a trip around the world." And the second lady says, once again, "Well, isn't that nice." The first lady asks, "Well, what did your husband get you when your first child was born?" The second lady replies, "My husband sent me to finish school." The first lady asks, "Well why did he do that?" And the second lady says, "So I could learn to say 'Well isn't that nice', instead of 'FUCK YOU!"

College Troubles When...

You know you're in trouble when...
1. The McDonald's people know you by name from late night study breaks.
2. You have spent more time figuring out that you only need a 54% to pass the final than you have actually spent studying.
3. The college drunk confronts you and says: "Don't you think you should get to work now?"
4. Your study schedule is based on the rationale that you "might" actually die before the test!
5. Your parents inquire about your grades and you sing the Cookie Monster song: "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me..."
6. Mom calls to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back, b*#%h!"