A Precise Location

Attorney: "And where was the location of the accident?"
Witness: "Approximately milepost 499."
Attorney: "And where is milepost 499?"
Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."

Semantics

Q: What did the boy say when his Mom told him to stop pulling the cat’s tail?
A: I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.

Warm Satisfaction

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A tea bag.