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The best jokes and joke writers!

Can You Hear Me Now

Q: What do you give to a fisherman who is going deaf?

A: A herring aid.

A Blonde's First Wish

A blonde finds a lamp with a genie inside. He says, "I will grant you three wishes." The blonde says, "For my first wish, I want my love handles to disappear." The genie replies, "Your wish is my command." Suddenly, the blonde exclaims, "Holy sh*t! What did you do with my ears?"

Mike Tyson and Metallica Concert

Q: What do Mike Tyson and a Metallica concert have in common?

A: At a Metallica concert you get ringing in the ears, and at a Mike Tyson fight, you get ears in the ring!

New Apartment Welcome

A man moved into a new apartment, and he decided to go and check his mail. The next thing he knows, a beautiful woman is standing in front of him and she has a robe on and she opens it and the man notices she has nothing on underneath. He tries to keep eye contact with the girl while she is talking to him. All of a sudden she says, "I hear someone coming, let's go in my apartment." When they get in to her apartment, she lets her robe fall to the ground and asks the man, "Which part of my body do you like the best?" The guy replies, "Your ears." So she gets mad and asks, "Why my ears!? Look at this body! It's perfect! Look at these breasts -- they're real and they're mine! Look at this butt -- it's hard and firm! So why my ears?" The guy says, "Well, because the person you heard coming was me!"

Tyson's Upcoming Fight

Q: Did you know that Mike Tyson has an upcoming fight with Prince Charles?

A: It seems that no-one else has big enough ears to go 12 rounds.