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The best jokes and joke writers!

Mallard Tricks

Q: Why are mallards good at dodge ball?

A: They can duck.

G-Spot And Golf Ball

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Second to Third

Q: Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it takes to run from first to second?

A: Because you have a short stop between second and third.

Wife Swap

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium." "Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?" "Absolutely not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not." "Season's more than half over," he said.

No Reflection

My sister's college room mate, who isn't very keen on sports, commented on the shoe polish streaks under the player's eyes.

She said, "I just don't get it, what do those black things even do?"

I replied, "Well, play football, mostly."