Sports Jokes - Soccer / Football Jokes

Q: What is black and white and black and white and black and white?

A: A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!

The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent marriage annulled. "On what grounds ?" questioned the Judge, "This court does not take annulments lightly." "Non-virginity," replied the quarterback, "When I married her, I thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had married a wide receiver."

Flight to Rio:  € 2,000

Hotel:  € 1,200

England Football Team Merchandise:  € 750

Arriving after elimination: Priceless  

1. N

2. O

3. T

4. H

5. I

6. N

7. G 

8. They 

9. Know 

10. Nothing 

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of FIFA World Cup condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. When he arrives home, he tells his wife about the purchase he's just made. "FIFA World Cup condoms?" she blurts, "What makes them so special?" "There are three colors," he explains, "gold, silver and bronze." "So what color are you gonna wear tonight?" she asks with a grin. "Gold of course," says the proud man. The wife responds, "Why don't you wear silver -- it would be nice if you came second for a change!"