Mail Order Fisherman
An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order company the following:
"Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it's any good, I'll send you a check."
In a short time he received the following reply:
"Please send check. If it's any good, we'll send the engine."
True story, according to the LA Times..... Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?"
Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"
Get Out of Bed
It was 5:00 a.m and the father went to his son, Shawn's bedroom door, knocked and said, "Son, it's time to get up. Jump in the shower and we've got to leave ASAP to catch any fish." Soon it was 5:30 and dad had the coffee brewing, the boat hooked up and he just finished packing the truck, when he noticed Shawn still wasn't up. Furious the dad pounded on his son's bedroom door a second time and yelled, "Jesus rose from the dead and you can't even get out of bed!" To which the son replies, "Yeah, but it took Jesus three days!!"
Let Me Out
Q: You're in a room with no doors and no windows, and all you have is a baseball bat. How do you get out?
A: Strike 1! Strike 2! Strike 3! You're out!
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
A: Their bats flew away.