Sports Jokes - Hockey Jokes

Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

A: She fell out of the tree.

Three guys from Carolina died and went to hell. Satan went to check on them and saw that they had their shirts off and didn't mind the heat, so he turned up the heat. He went to check on them again and he saw that they were in their boxers and they still didn't mind the heat. Satan went and turned the temperature down to minus twenty. Satan went to check on them and he saw that they were in their coats cheering. He went up to them and asked why they were cheering. One of them yelled out "Hell froze over, the Hurricanes must have won the cup!"

Boss: "Johnson, we're giving you a promotion but you have to move to Montreal."

Johnson: "Montreal! Nothing comes from there except hookers and hockey players!"

Boss: Listen pal, my wife comes from there!

Johnson: Without missing a beat replies, "No kidding! What position does she play?"

1. YOU GO IN 1-2 MINUTE SHIFTS
2. THE PUCK IS ALWAYS HARD
3. THE PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT IS REUSABLE
4. IT LASTS A FULL HOUR
5. YOU KNOW YOU ARE FINISHED WHEN THE BUZZER SOUNDS
6. YOUR PARENTS CHEER WHEN YOU SCORE
7. A 2 ON 1 OR 3 ON 1 IS NOT UNCOMMON
8. IT IS LEGAL TO PLAY PROFESSIONALLY
9. YOU CAN COUNT ON IT AT LEAST TWICE A WEEK
10. PERIODS ONLY LAST 20 MINUTES

Q: Heard about the Polish hockey team?

A: They all drowned in spring training.