Boss: "Johnson, we're giving you a promotion but you have to move to Montreal."
Johnson: "Montreal! Nothing comes from there except hookers and hockey players!"
Boss: Listen pal, my wife comes from there!
Johnson: Without missing a beat replies, "No kidding! What position does she play?"
Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love
Q: What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common?
A: They both shower after three periods!
Leper Hockey Game
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.
Blonde Played Hockey
Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Three guys from Carolina died and went to hell. Satan went to check on them and saw that they had their shirts off and didn't mind the heat, so he turned up the heat. He went to check on them again and he saw that they were in their boxers and they still didn't mind the heat. Satan went and turned the temperature down to minus twenty. Satan went to check on them and he saw that they were in their coats cheering. He went up to them and asked why they were cheering. One of them yelled out "Hell froze over, the Hurricanes must have won the cup!"