We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

The best jokes and joke writers!

Human Reproduction

At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: "Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?" One young woman's answer: "Because they won't ask for directions either."

The Old Man's Bird

There's an old man laying on the beach naked and a little girl passes by. She stops and stairs at the man and asked "mister what is that thing between your legs?" The man says "oh that , well the thing that is standing is the bird the two things on the side are the eggs and the thing around it is the nest." The old man asked her to leave so he can get some sun. He falls asleep,  when he wakes up there are paramedics around him. He asked what happen.The paramedic said  "ask the little girl." The old man calls her over " what happened?" The little girl said "when you went to sleep I tried to make the bird fly, I pulled and pulled but he got big and spit at me so I kicked the bird, smashed the eggs and burned the nest..

Man's Best Friend

Q: What is a man's best friend?

A: His dick because it always sitcks up for him.

10 Things to Never Say to a Naked Man

Uh...top 10 things not to say to a naked man:

  1.  Awww...that's cute
  2. Well, at least you're good at other things
  3. Do you think it'll fit in my old Barbie® clothes?
  4.  My li'l brother has one like that.
  5.  Are you cold?
  6. ...giggles...
  7.  Maybe we should just be friends
  8.  Can you make it dance?
  9.  Umm...maybe you should get dressed
  10.  Oh...look...its hiding!

Toilet Seat

Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?

A: Who knows - it's never been done.