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Relationship Jokes
Definition of Sex
Hillary and Chelsea were having a deep heart to heart talk about Chelsea's college experiences.
Hillary: So have you found dating to be fulfilling experience?
Chelsea: It's okay, but I don't like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds.
Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex?
Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not IF you define sex the way Daddy does.
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Father's Day
One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. by by, Grandpa." The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked. The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. by by, Grandma." The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack. Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. Sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. by by, Daddy." Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine.
When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning!"
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Drown my Troubles
I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming!
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