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The best jokes and joke writers!

Thirty Years Later...

A couple gets married, and thirty years later they're in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, "What's the matter?" He says, "Thirty years ago I couldn't wait to eat it. Now it looks like it can't wait to eat me."

Like Father Like Son

Little Johnny is in the bathroom taking a pee when the toilet seat falls down on top of his penis. He starts screaming and crying. His mom comes running into the room wondering what's going on. He tells his mother, "Mommy, the toilet seat fell on top of my penis. Kiss it better." "Johnny you are getting more and more like your father everyday." His mother says.

What were they Thinking?

There's a man walking a tight rope 60 feet above ground. There's another man getting a blowjob from a 60 year old woman.

Q: What are they both thinking at the exact same time?

A: Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down, don't look down!

Coconut & Hurricane

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut?

A: Hold on to your nuts, it's going to be a hell of a blow job!

Big Tongue

Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue?

A: Well hung.