Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes

Q: If a stork symbolizes birth what type of bird symbolizes birth control?

A: A swallow.

This girl I know told me she was so horny her own tongue's starting to feel good in her mouth!

My husband said his doctor told him that I could suck out his kidney stone. After three days of trying, I think he lied to me.

Little Johnny is in the bathroom taking a pee when the toilet seat falls down on top of his penis. He starts screaming and crying. His mom comes running into the room wondering what's going on. He tells his mother, "Mommy, the toilet seat fell on top of my penis. Kiss it better." "Johnny you are getting more and more like your father everyday." His mother says.

A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!"

To that the man asks, "Anything??"

And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!!"

With that, the man says, "Follow me." He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door."

She does. He then says, "Get on your knees."

She does. He then says, "Take down my zipper."

She does. He then says, "Go ahead, take it out."

With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands. The man then says, "Well, go ahead!" She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, "Hello...Mom?"