You might be a redneck if... You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You Might Be a Redneck 44
Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray.
The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
Your mom calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
The ASPCA raids your kitchen.
You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.
You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
Three Redneck Lies
- The pickup is paid for.
- I won this belt buckle in the rodeo.
- I was just helping that sheep over the fence.
Billy Bob and Cleetus landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning coffee Billy Bob yelled: "Cleetus! I lost my finger!" "Have you now?" says Cleetus. "And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi... Sumbitch! There goes another one!"
You Might Be A Redneck - Gummy Bear
You might be a redneck if you ask your wife whether the spot on your neck is a boil or a mole and she replies "Its a gummy bear."