Redneck: Raid

You might be a redneck if... You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You Might Be a Redneck 44

Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray.
The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
Your mom calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
The ASPCA raids your kitchen.
You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.
You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

Country Tunes

• Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
• Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
• Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
• How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
• I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life!
• Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling!
• Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
• I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
• I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
• I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
• If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
• My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
• Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
• She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart