We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Menu Item Translations

The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.

  • Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
  • Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong
  • Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo
  • French fried ships - Cairo
  • Garlic Coffee - Europe
  • Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe
  • Boiled Frogfish - Europe
  • Sweat from the trolley - Europe
  • Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
  • Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
  • Roasted duck let loose - Poland
  • Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland
  • Fried friendship - Nepal
  • Strawberry crap - Japan
  • Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam
  • Toes with butter and jam - Bali
  • French Creeps - L.A.
  • Fried fishermen - Japan
  • Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
  • Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania
  • Product Names Clean Finger Nail - Chinese
  • Japanese mineral water Creap Creamy Powder - Japan
  • Coffee Creamer Swine - China
  • Chocolates Libido - China
  • Soda Pocari Sweat - Japan
  • Sport drink Shocking - Japan
  • Chewing gum Cat Wetty - Japan
  • Moistened hand towels Pipi - Yugoslavia
  • Orangeade Polio - Czechoslovakia
  • Laundry detergent Crundy - Japan
  • Gourmet candy Superglans - Netherlands
  • Car wax I'm Dripper - Japan
  • Instant coffee Zit - Greece
  • Soft drink Colon Plus - Spain

Nosy Neighbor

A 12-year-old boy walks up to his Polish neighbor and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife naked!" The guy answers, "The joke's on you, Johnny...I wasn't even home last night!"

Polish New Car Is Busted

A polish guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. He drives around all the time waving at the rednecks. One day the rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say "If you step out of that circle, we will kick your ass." They pick up hammers and start busting up his new car. They look back and he is smiling. They hit the car some more, and he is laughing. They walk over to him and ask "Why are you laughing, we just busted up your car." He says "I know, but I stepped out of the circle 9 times."

Cockfights

Q: You go to a cockfight. How can you identify the Polish guy?

A: He's the one with a duck.

Cow Breeding

A town in Poland had only one cow and it stopped giving milk. The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2000 rubles - or one from Minsk for only 1000 rubles. So, naturally, they got the cow from Minsk. It was a great cow; it had a wonderful disposition, and gave lots of milk and lots of cream. Everybody loved it dearly. The people decided they would mate the cow and get more cows like it, and then they would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

So they got a bull and led the cow and the bull into the pasture. When the bull came in from the right to mount the cow, the cow moved to the left. When the bull moved in to mount the cow from the left, the cow moved to the right. This went on all day. Finally, in desperation, the people decided to go ask the rabbi what to do. After all he was very wise.They told him the story.

"Rabbi, we've tried all day to mate our cow. When the bull moves in from the right the cow moves left and when the bull moves in from the left the cow moves to the right. What do we do?"

The Rabbi thought a moment and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Minsk?"

"Rabbi!" they replied as one, "You are so wise! We never said we bought the cow from Minsk. How did you know that?"

The Rabbi said, sadly, "My wife is from Minsk."