Genie Jokes

Mermaid Rescue

An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball. "I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?" The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have sex with the mermaid." "That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?" "Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have sex, so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."

Categories: Genie Jokes , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Military Jokes
Anonymous

Poof!

A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. "I'd love an ice-cold beer right now," he told the genie. Poof! A beer appeared. Next the man said, "I wish to be on an island, surrounded by beautiful and willing women." Poof! He was on an island with gorgeous women fawning all over him. Oh, man this is the life, the guy thought. "I wish I never had to work again." And poof!...He was back at his desk in the government office!

Categories: Profession Jokes , Word Play Jokes , Genie Jokes
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Anonymous

Irish Wish

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it, and out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The Irishman thinks awhile, finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty." With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes. The Irishman says, "I want two more of these."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Genie Jokes , Holiday Jokes (St. Patrick's Day Jokes)
Anonymous