Circus Horse

A horse walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, scotch on the rocks please!" The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says, "Did.. did you just talk?" "Yes I did, why?" "It's just incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"
The horse replied "Why? Are they short on electricians?"

Ungrateful

Someone stopped me today and asked me for directions to the nearest cosmetic surgeon. I gave them detailed instructions on how to get there, then they turned round and said "Well if you know the way, why haven't you been there you ugly bastard?"

Clean-Up

The broom I bought is useless. All brooms are useless!
That's a sweeping generalisation