Tornado in Minneapolis
Q: Where do you go in Minneapolis in case of a tornado?
A: To the Metrodome - there's never a touchdown!
Once, there were two bikers driving down the highway on a cold afternoon. "Man! commented one... it's FREEZING!!! and my coat won't zip up. The cold air is killing me!!" The other biker thought for a minute as they sped down the road. "Well, he said at last... you can turn your jacket around, then the open side would be at the back. You wouldn't get so cold that way." "Great idea!" commented the other. "stop and let me switch." The driver pulled over, and the passenger put his jacket on backwards. "There! he said when he had completed the switch. I feel better already." The two of them climbed back on the motorcycle and drove off. Then, suddenly they hit a patch of ice on the road, and spun off and crashed. A few minutes later a crowd had gathered, and when the ambulance arrived, the EMTs shouted out "Is anybody hurt?" One guy from the crowd replied "Well, the driver was dead when I got here, and the other guy was doing alright until we fixed his head."
Yo Mama - Dandruff
Yo mama has so much dandruff when she scratches her head people are like, "Dang, is it winter already?"
The Blonde Snowman
Q: How come it takes so long to build a blonde snowman?
A: Because you have to hollow out the head!
Q: When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
A: When it's raining cats and dogs!