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The best jokes and joke writers!

You are from Canada

You know your from Manitoba, Canada, when....

  • You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
  • You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  • The mosquitoes have landing lights.
  • You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
  • You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
  • Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
  • You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
  • You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
  • Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
  • You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
  • The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports.
  • At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
  • The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
  • Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
  • You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
  • You head south to go to your cottage.
  • You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
  • You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
  • The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo - it's sausage making.
  • You find -40C a little chilly.
  • The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
  • You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.
  • You can play road hockey on skates.
  • You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
  • The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
  • You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Northern friends.

Migration

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?

A: Because it's too far to walk.

Yo Mama - Dandruff

Yo mama has so much dandruff when she scratches her head people are like, "Dang, is it winter already?"

Redneck Tornado

Q: What do tornados and a redneck divorce have in common?

A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!

The Blonde Snowman

Q: How come it takes so long to build a blonde snowman?

A: Because you have to hollow out the head!