Union Girls

A union leader goes to Las Vegas and checks out the brothels. In the first one he asks if the girls belong to a union. “No,” replies the madame. “And what cut do the girls get?” asks the leader. “They take 20 percent,” replies the madame. Offended by this unfairness, the union leader goes to a second brothel and asks the same questions. Here he finds that the girls do belong to a union and get to keep 80 percent of their takings. “That’s better,” says the union leader. “I’d like to have the beautiful young redhead in the corner.” “Sure you would,” says the madame, beckoning to an old fat blonde. “But Ethel here has seniority.”

No Willy

Little boy came into the kitchen and declared, "Mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow."

You Might Be A Redneck 41

You might be a redneck if...

• Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
• You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
• You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
• You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.
• You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
• Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
• You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
• When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
• Your screen door has no screen.